Favorite Tunes <3

My favorite artist to listen to, as of late, has been P!nk. More so these three songs: “Fucking Perfect”, “Please Don’t Leave Me”, and “Don’t Let Me Get Me”. I’ve read and listened to videos that say that there are a few celebrities that display BPD. Among those celebrities are Marilyn Monroe and Lady Gaga. Not too surprising, right? Listening to P!nk’s songs it makes me wonder if maybe she battled with some illness herself. Of course, these aren’t new songs, but I find myself gravitated towards them daily. They help me get through the day. They inspire and motivate me to keep pushing towards being a better version of me.

“Don’t Let Me get Me” is something I have struggled with majority of my life. There have been so many days where I simply hated myself. There have been times, even recently, where I wish I could be someone else. It sometimes makes me wonder if that’s where the whole “chameleon effect” comes from. So, to kinda update from one of my previous post where I talked about the Murder Mystery I was leery about going to. I went and I had a great time. However, once the game was over, I felt an overwhelming emotion of anxiety. That then led to depression which caused me to leave early and cry all the way home. I was so disappointed in myself for getting to that point. When I spoke with my therapist he asked me what caused the sudden shift. I thought about it for a moment and then it came to me. During the murder mystery I was fine because I wasn’t “me”. I was acting. I was able to live the life of someone else, even if for a couple of hours. Coming down from that and getting back to myself, I became worried and doubtful. That situation alone made me think of and play this song all the way home that night. I sung my ass off in the car. Booooyyy, let me tell you! Lol. 😂😅

P!NK: Don’t Let Me Get Me

Here are some of the lyrics that stands out to me the most:

“Every day I fight a war against the mirror

I can’t take the person starin’ back at me

I’m a hazard to myself

Don’t let me get me

I’m my own worst enemy

It’s bad when you annoy yourself

So irritating

Don’t wanna be my friend no more

I wanna be somebody else”

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“Fucking Perfect” is my anthem! On my worst days when I feel like shit, a horrible person, someone that just can’t do right to save her life; I listen to this song. This song gives me hope. It brings me back from that treacherous dark place. No, I’m not perfect. Yes, I make mistakes (and often). But, dammit, I’m fucking perfect in my imperfections. It’s a motivational song for me. I listen to it every day to remind myself that it’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to not be perfect. There is someone that appreciates me for me. That’s what matters the most.

P!NK: Fucking Perfect

This part of the song hits me the most:

“You’re so mean, when you talk, about yourself you were wrong

Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead

So complicated, look how big, you’ll make it

Filled with so much hatred, such a tired game

It’s enough! I’ve done all I can think of

Chased down all my demons, I’ve seen you do the same

Oh, pretty, pretty please, don’t you ever, ever feel

Like you’re less than fuckin’ perfect

Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel like you’re nothing

You’re fuckin’ perfect to me”

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“Please Don’t Leave Me” … Man. You know, sometimes I pretend like I’m on stage, let’s say at a karaoke night… or some shit like that. I imagine my S/O in the crowd and I pick this song as my song to sing. I start off a little nervous, but while singing I begin to think of all the things we have been through then I really get into the song. I imagine singing this song to my S/O. I imagine pouring my heart out on stage, begging (through song) for them to stay with me and to not give up hope on me. I know I can be difficult. I know I can be so mean… so so so mean. I know that I can be nasty, manipulative, sassy, complicated, confusing, and so much more. However, I swear… I sincerely swear that I am trying to be better. I just need you to be there for me and not give up on me as I fight this battle. I need and cherish the love you give. Though I don’t say it as often as I should, I love you and I need you.

P!NK: Please Don’t Leave Me

This:

“How did I become so obnoxious?

What is it with you that makes me act like this?

I’ve never been this nasty

Can’t you tell that this is all just a contest?

The one that wins will be the one that hits the hardest

But baby I don’t mean it

I mean it, I promise

Please don’t leave me

Please don’t leave me

I’m always saying how I don’t need you

But it’s always gonna come right back to this

Please, don’t leave me”

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What are some of your favorite songs to help you get through your day or your breakdown? Share them with me in the comment section. I would love to listen to them!! ❤ ❤

Image Credit: Found on Google Search

Link Credit: Youtube.com